“Forgiveness is the final key that completely unravels the blame/guilt knot. Forgiveness is often misunderstood as condoning the bad things that were done to you. Or that you have done. That’s not forgiveness.

Forgiveness means no longer letting your past be your reason for not thriving in the present. Dr. Mario Martinez calls forgiveness “freedom from self-entrapment.”

When I was going through my divorce, my first thought was that I had ruined my daughters’ lives. But in time, I realized that by following the dictates of my Soul, I actually modeled something quite different for my children. I showed them that my life and my happiness (and therefore theirs too) actually mattered. And that staying overly long in a substandard situation was just a bad idea.

When we know better we do better. Beating ourselves up for what we didn’t know in the past just keeps us stuck in blame and guilt. And that can fester for years.

Every single one of us has something in our past that requires forgiveness. And the very hardest person to forgive is ourselves. So let yourself off the hook, and begin by loving the part of yourself that feels unworthy and unforgivable.

Similar to releasing shame, forgiving yourself starts with acknowledging that which needs to be forgiven, and then asking for forgiveness. From yourself. From the Divine. From the universe.

Do a Change Me Prayer:

“Divine Beloved, please lift the burden of blame from my heart and from my life. Please remove my guilt and shame. And please change me into someone who feels worthy and whole. Change me into someone who feels totally and completely forgiven and free.”

In addition to asking the Divine for help, I also suggest that you simply help yourself. Say out loud: “

“I now release myself from the burden of guilt and shame.”

Excerpt From: Christiane Northrup, M.D. “Making Life Easy.”