“If we operate inside the myth that we must squelch, kill off, lock up, and hide all of the qualities that make us interesting and unique, we forsake our right to experience passion and peace. The quest for the perfect life, the perfect role, “the perfect persona will always leave us unfulfilled—even if we attain it—for the simple reason that we are much more than the small handful of qualities that fit neatly into our ego ideal.
In the process of trying to express only those aspects of ourselves that we believe will guarantee us the acceptance of others, we suppress some of our most valuable and interesting features and sentence ourselves to a life of reenacting the same drama with the same outworn script.
In this quest for safety and predictability, our range of self-expression shrinks and, with it, our choices. Who and what we will be tomorrow is usually some form of who we were yesterday, because we can only access the resources and behaviors of the self that has consented to be seen.
In shutting out the darkness we fear lurks within us because we fear the destruction it might cause, we also shut off the competent, powerful, successful, sexy, funny, and brilliant parts of ourselves that are yearning for expression.
This is the root cause of the boredom we often feel in some or many areas of our life. As we sever our relationship with certain aspects of our personality, we deny ourselves access to stimulation, excitement, passion, and creativity.
One of the most exciting aspects of being human is that there are literally hundreds of inspiring, useful, and powerful parts of ourselves lying dormant, aching to come out of the shadow and be integrated into the whole of the self. There is a whole array of wonderful feelings waiting for an opportunity to move through our body, bringing us new sensations and new levels of happiness, joy, and pleasure. We can’t really enjoy the enormity of who we are, because we have forgotten who we are beyond the borders of our own restricted internal barriers and the constraints we have imposed on our emotional world.”
Excerpt From: Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson & Debbie Ford. “The Shadow Effect.”