There is a saying.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” ~ Buddha
Looking in the rear view mirror of my life, I see countless faces, young and old, who have graciously gifted me with “soul diamonds.” These priceless gems are always delivered at the perfect time by a consummate mentor to facilitate the expansion of the light that dwells in each one of us. In one of my darkest times a bedazzling free-spirited visionary drifted into my shadowy space. She carried a canvas bag that showed its many miles, but she displayed no weariness. Instead, her energy was welcoming, and pulsated like a neon sign announcing itself as a “safe place” to take ones next leap.
Francesca was her name. She was in her early seventies at the time, but when she introduced herself with her strong Dutch accent, and eyes blazing with an endless passion for life, one would think her to be joking about her years. Her style uniquely her own was a mixture of extreme punk, as her hair spiked outward like the suns rays, and her clothes boldly bright spoke to her fondness of the Florida Tourist look, and added to it all an array of jewelry of every fashion and time period. Her laughter dared anyone of a lesser energy to survive in its wide expanse. She was wise and wild ~ and divinely sent.
This woman, who loved each and every aspect of life, showed up in my life shortly after a doctor prescribed two detrimental drugs for me. Within two weeks they chemically destroyed every trace of joy in me, which occupied a huge area of my soul for many years. The exuberance and lightheartedness, that became my trademark, left without a trace. On Good Friday 1985 my mother found me in a fetal position begging to be put away. The unfamiliar pit of darkness that I was swallowed up by, came complete with dancing demons that pulled me deeper into an abyss of depression. With tears in my eyes, I explained that I was in a hellish state, and did not want to stay to bring anyone along with me.
The overnight transformation confused my parents, family and friends, as I screamed from physical and mental torment. For days the nightmare consumed me, but after the holiday weekend, the priest from my parents church sent a local psychiatrist to visit. He administered another pill, which within twenty minutes brought temporary relief, but he did not believe the two other pills caused my trauma.
In the meantime my mother took the two drugs to our pharmacist, and found out the combination of these two caused severe depression and hallucinations. Finding the cause was a godsend, but he also explained the withdrawal would be slow and painful ~ possibly a three month gradual cutback on each pill. Grateful for some understanding I found some solace in knowing I would come around ~ albeit slowly. A neighbor knew of a “metaphysical counselor,” Francesca, and felt intuitively that I would do better with her body, mind, spirit approach, and so we began our journey.
After a few sessions, when Francesca rang our doorbell, my soul salivated like Pavlov’s dog ~ knowing it was going to be feed and nourished during our time together. As I heard her delightful voice greet my parents, I would lay in bed anxious to begin our work. Still far from the joy I remembered, she and her “bag” filled with books brought me hope. We always started with hypnoses. She would take me to a blissful place, and in the calm, Francesca would softly speak.
“You are capable of making the decisions that will benefit your whole being. Be still, and listen.”
She knew that my inner guidance was best suited to direct me, because we are all so uniquely created. Each of our life’s plans are so individual, that all she did was validate that the perfect answer would come from within myself. The gift of choice was mine, and she respected that, and made me aware that giving that gift away ~ diminished my power.
Each session she would ask me to have three questions prepared on spiritual matters for the next visit. Without fail, each time she returned, she would say.
“Before we discuss your questions, let me read something that I know you will find very interesting.”
With that, Francesca would reach into her “bag” and pull out some well studied volumes. After reading marked pages from a myriad of books, that quoted views from the most revered philosophers, I never once had to ask my questions. She read and answered each one, no matter the topics: being and existence, space and time, free will, identity and change, mind and matter, religion and spirituality, judgment, anger, forgiveness, reincarnation, chakra’s, healing, astral travel, inner peace, joy and love. It did not matter; she always knew my questions.
We would then have an inspired discourse, which always left me with more questions, but excited and eager to learn and understand more. My body, mind and spirit started to heal from the chemical imbalance caused by the pills. Each day I followed the instructions from within, rather than the doctors cutback regiment. Although my mind and spirit healed quickly, the physical pain of the withdrawal took about a month longer. Still, we were way ahead of the doctors forecast, and I learned universal laws that would serve me a life time.
Toward the end of each session Francesca told me stories of her adventures during WWII in Holland. Her face revealed how clearly she remembered riding her bike to find bread and cheese for her family as enemy bombers filled the air. She was brave and fearless, and her stories always transported me to new understandings of the human spirit. Seemed to me that the bombs never broke her physically, but instead, shattered her ego, which made her soul journeys easier ~ as the egos strength had somewhat diminished.
My time with Francesca was limited. When her students were ready to solo, she had a policy to not remain a friend. This was ever so devastating to me as we had grown so close. But, the miracles that came from her bag, will always live inside me. They changed me for life, and until this day I see her clutching her bag of miracles.
We are all one. To give is to receive.
We are here to serve each other. Each day ask. Dear God, How may I serve?
What we think, say and do comes back to us.
Do all things from love with compassion.
Forgive, or we can never move forward.
Be grateful for all things.
We are responsible for our own happiness. Find it within.
Love is the key. Love unconditionally and passionately.
See God in all things and in everyone. Namaste.